Day 4 on the set of my cleanse diet from social media and my phone always being in my hand and checking it every second of everyday. It was almost like a second addiction first being of course shopping but what woman doesn’t have that one. Any who it by far has been amazing I not only feel calm and refreshed. I am focused and clear on all my thoughts even though some if not all are still sort of cloudy but hey it is only been four days now. Can you only imagine what almost a full month of focused energy just on the good of things. I mean why didn’t I think of this sooner. I guess me writing this is also in a sense is par taking in the electronic side of things but I absolutely felt the need to get this off my mind. Its basically on replay and my inner self telling me to do it!
I will probably repeat myself until I am blue in the face but it still has so much meaning to it still …
Instantly the boredom fell into place and I could have cleaned like I would usually do but instead I read a little then a lot and then a little again. Also with it being a new year and all I created a beautiful board for my goals this year because baby I am speaking this shit into existence. But at the same time it felt very selfish of me to completely shut out the people I love so I let them know we could TALK over the phone which is for sure out of many peoples comfort zone but I left that door still open just painted differently of course.
As I wake up each morning so thankful to be here and just acknowledging my surroundings and how amazing I created such a beautiful story for myself. I am the writer of my life. I am choosing to only focus my time and energy on ALL the good things because trust me there are still a ton of things that aren’t so good but those things will always be there. Choosing when to say no .. Nicely of course but it is something some take lightly and feel the need to please everyone around them when in fact they are doing the same thing right, we here this all the time but to actually live it is another story. It is true what they say live your life how YOU see it but I fought with this for years because I was the person who took care of everyone … But guess what I still do but BETTER now because I am fueled. I am not left feeling empty or drained upon repair. I am left feeling uplifted because I can do those things for the ones I love and those I choose too.
I talk about the light that is inside of us all and now I get the phrase of when you see the light .. Because I did see the light … I saw me I am the light! I have the power to create live and conquer all that I set in front of me. I am everything I knew I could be and continue to be better with each day I get to live.
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
I am not done and will I ever be done? Probably not because life is all about what is around you life has a way of constantly teaching you new things and I have always been fascinated by this but was afraid to open my mind up to all things possible. Afraid I was to weak or not genius enough to intake the capacity of that I was not aware of. I felt complicit with wanting to know more feel more understand more….
Who is this girl and in this do I have to say good bye again to the person I was. I felt like I have done this a lot. With each child or each phase in my life I am constantly growing into a new being. At first its like death its dark and scary and lonely but then you see who this person is and you get to know her a little each day. You see the you in you and realize you are not on the outside looking in you are finally just in sync.
For now I am going to stop babbling … But also who cares ♥ if only I do!