Sometimes I forget that this journey is also about healing. All the change and rewiring is great. BUT it doesn’t mean jack squat if your NOT healing old wounds that you just slapped a bandaid on previously and kept it moving. We all do it because life is already hard as it is. We feel we don’t have to the time to deal with things, heck everyone has their own problems and life must go on right. Yet here I am, almost 30 years young and I am telling you that is not the way of life. We all have our own ways of suppressing things but to me to live a WHOLESOME life you must FIRST heal those things in order to grow from what you learned. To make progress is one thing but ending up exactly where you were is another.
The real questions you did not want to ask yourself before you must. Even if you felt like you asked them answering truthfully and honestly will make all the difference. Deal with the unwanted thoughts and feelings the way you feel is necessary … Myself I FEEL mine 100% it can get ugly and scary but I find my way out then when I finally feel like I am ready to actually work thru it I will then journal it. I will write out every thought and why I had it. Noticing this may or may not have anything to do with the way my life is now but some of it can be why it has not moved forward past limits I could not take before. (FEAR) But after working with myself loving myself telling my inner self everything I wasn’t saying before or never heard then comes this CALM satisfying feeling that is like no other! I didn’t ignore it I didn’t write it down and toss it thinking it would just go away… I FELT and DELT with it .. May have taking almost 2 days to deal, but it is the most beautiful thing I could have done for myself. Once something is healed properly you will never have to rehash it and that itself is a weight worth taking..
I continue to amaze myself and LOVE myself more for being exactly who I need to be for me. READ THAT AGAIN. Also to share with others what inspires me to want to live a life worth living! It is indescribable how much my mind, heart and soul have healed.. The power that it holds is unbelievable. Is it easy, heck no or everyone would do it. But I see it all around me that more and more people are wanting to live a wholesome or fulfilling life & this personally is the way! It is a lifetime journey and commitment ♥ & one that I chose to continue to take for myself.
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I love a good book or music for my soulful Sunday but this … this was life! AS a woman of color or a woman in general it is beautiful to see more and more woman of all ages embrace the importance of taking care of ourselves. CHASING after our dreams inspiring others! It is simple just beautiful to see it, hear and read about it.
To me this is not a trend! This is not a competition to see who can get more followers or to become an influencer. It’s real it is raw and it is NOT something to take lightly. It’s HARD and feels completely pointless at times. But as said before your soul will thank you. You will be filled with so much gratitude. You will start to only need yourself to FEEL. You will feel FREE … You start to see what healing is truly doing for your life!
The life I always wanted for myself is coming together slowly and I am preparing myself for it. I was not even remotely close to being the person who deserved it or could possibly even handle it yet. For that I am also thankful. I struggle with the feeling of falling off the bike so to say but it is about getting back up and learning to ride again. Stronger and Better than ever!
My to do list –
I have a 7 years old Godzilla birthday party coming up! I have about 3-4 weeks to plan and let’s just say your family can be your toughest critics … To save on time and money I will be hosting the event of “the year” at our house (small get together means MORE time and $ for decorations and the overall experience) but I still can’t want to showcase his decked out GODZILLA themed party! – So Stay tuned …. シ
Finally BOOKING the venue for the FAMILY GET TOGETHER! Still working out minor details such as a good date (date sets the mood plus accommodating the group size is a newbie for me! Challenge accepted) BUT location & time are the important things so once that is figured out it’s all game from there!