It has been a rough couple weeks! I mean tears, break downs & did I mention tears… I love to cry sometimes it is, to me at least such a release to let go!!!
Back to school & working only part time but man has it been challenging. Going from ALWAYS being around the kids and completing every task for that day. – Planners dream life & every mom in America am I right! And still leaving time for the things I’ve really learned to enjoy… BINGO
Life is funny aint it. Back n forth up & down. Think I’d be tired of saying this but I’m not. That to me means my life is moving. & when we are moving we are living! But now I still question myself what the heck have I got myself into?! – That’s mom & teacher life. Have I mentioned I’m trying to start up my own Planning business? Of course I have that’s the point of being here! Seriously how do I incorperate an emoji, a face palm would do this block some satisfaction…
I also work my butt off to be a good daughter to my heavenly Father. These task I just now have started to take on so just keep on reading ….
I struggle with keeping everything to myself until I can’t take it anymore. I still at almost 30 struggle to be completely vulnerable with people I love. But I am working on it! Slow progress is better than none, right? It isn’t even about being weak.. Because as much as I talk about my strengths it is my weakness that makes me human. It is my weakness that makes me relatable. It is my weakness that makes me thankful for my strengths!!
As a baby Christian – what I call myself now 🖤 haha… I feel powerless yet so powerful at the same time. Like the Holy Spirit has been working in me through me and all around me. But I haven’t done anything with this except maybe the occasional reaching out to those on my heart & or figuring out some things I always had questions on. But I know it’s far more than just that..
I was asked about what are my goals for God (God’s work for me). & I didn’t have an answer. I found my purpose as far as my passion but not the goal I believe God created me for! Teaching has been the most incredible life changing part of my life. As a mother especially! I still can’t believe how naturally it comes and flows. Learning more & more as I go, developing so much! It makes me feel so honored. ❤ Planning goes right along with this. It is something I enjoy doing creating special moments & memories for others .. It makes up of the many gifts I’ve been given for this world.
That’s the GOOD STUFF … I know my life hasn’t always been this way so I appreciate much more than I WOULD HAVE. Seriously my heart can’t express the love I have for this life. I thought I created but was given because I chose to let go & let God.
I lived as if I knew what my life was supposed to be and look like but it’s far more better than I ever could have imagined. The things I would NEVER find myself doing I’M DOING & loving it! Shocking I know ….
Back to where I was going with this. Because I could honestly talk for hours and days about how blessed my Life has become all because I accepted I’m not in control. & the power in me comes from the Son of God!
Hard stuff … Doing His work isn’t easy.
Something I find myself running from, since the beginning of time. Race , relationships , & growing up with parents who were addict’s.
Race – Since I can recall being singled out as the only black person in my surroundings. No more running … or hiding. It is time to talk about why this has always been the case. Why feeling; why aren’t there more of me in the work place or church or so on so forth!? Why are woman of color only getting opportunities to fill in the “minority” or “diverse” section off of someone’s check list.
Relationships – Healthy relationships both male and female are vital to our society!! Marriage matters , morals and beliefs still mean something. I’m not talking old school or new school plain and simple human muraility!!!
Growing up with a parent or parents who were addicts – The world is changing and adjusting slowly but surely. But these problem will go far beyond me and possibly my own children unfortunately. But to better educate everyone isn’t always on everyone’s top priority list. Why is that? Because no one sees an end solution just a temporary fix.. This goes far beyond the parents we are talking PTSD for children and adults. I am not Phycologists or Doctor I am speaking solely on my very own experience. This is a LIFE long journey in itself … But so ignored to the everyday life we have! Some rather not deal with it at all…
So what do I do with this!! – As of right now I wait… I am not God I cannot change the world But he can! One person at a time … He can change anyones heart! Just with his words.. What I can do is love everyone ! What I can do is leave the world a little bit bighter .. His words alone have turned my world upside down! We are talking words people! HIS WORDS, his truth! It’s far more powerful than anything any of us can ever Imagine… Stop leaning on your own understanding and dig deeper & ask the questions you know no one can answer.
I promise you will find them in him in his Word … Don’t believe me find out for yourself. I invite you to find that peace or that joy you have been searching long and hard for. To let go of any anxiety and fear a hold on your soul so tight your suffocating .. digging bigger holes but finding them still empty inside. This is my gift to you from Him.
**I also invite you to join in my journey! Read with me, write with me, SING WITH ME, go along with me to Church or events!**
I hope to continue to teach & shape young minds! & maybe someday I’ll become a Mentor!!
What ever My Father has in store for me I’ll be ready and waiting. If it’s simply just writing – we all know I enjoy writing then I trust that is all he needs for me to do..
Follow on Instagram – https://instagram.com/toro.perceptions_art?igshid=qd86z56de579
-My 30th Bday
Also check out updated photos in the Events tab from Tye Dye Party!